Being PC

Gone are the days when gay meant happy and queer meant strange and Baa Baa Black Sheep was a harmless little nursery rhyme. These days the English language has become fraught with do’s and don’ts - a minefield of offence causing verbs and pronouns.

Here is a brief lesson in how to be politically correct in our increasingly touchy world.

You don’t say Black
You say African-American, Afro- Caribbean and for a thorough bred African or non White person, you say Ethnic.

You don’t say Baa Baa Black Sheep
It’s Baa Baa Woolly Sheep

You don’t say Blackboard
You say whiteboard or Wipe board

You don’t say Fat
You say overweight

You don’t say Disabled
You say Otherwise Abled

You don’t say Short
You say Vertically Challenged

You don’t say Cold Blooded, Heartless, Vicious little Creep
You say Thermostatically Defunct

You don’t say Merry Christmas
You say Happy Holidays

You don’t say Homosexual
You say Alternative Lifestyle

You don’t say Husband/Wife
You say Partner

You don’t say I believe in God
You say I am Spiritual

You don’t say Brainstorm
You say CloudBurst or Word/Thought Shower

You don’t say Blind
You say Visually Impaired

You don’t say Clumsy
You say Uniquely Coordinated

You don’t say Chairman
You say Chairperson or simply, Chair

You don’t say Fail or Failure
You say Deferred Success

You say it’s being Politically Correct
I say what a crock of …*Bleep, Bleep, Bleep*