Doing Something for Myself
I was genuinely surprised this morning when hubby rolled over in bed and announced that it was the 1st of February today.
Yikes!! Did January just happen? Where is the year running to? I cannot believe that we are already the first month of the New Year down.
Ever noticed that the older you get the quicker time seems to whiz by? As a child/teenager the time couldn’t go quick enough. I don’t know how many times my parents had to listen to my cries of ‘I’m soooooo bored’. Nowadays – in this our fast paced world of iPods, computers, microwaves, dishwashers, memory sticks, PDA’s, blackberries and blogs- I find that I just don’t seem to have the time to be bored. In fact, I just don’t seem to have the time to be anything! But on closer inspection – what exactly am I doing with my time? Shall I be brutally honest? Not much.
Sure I do what every body else does, I try to juggle the work-life balance – I sleep, wake up, go to work, come back home, cook (if I’m in the mood), veg out in front of the TV or PC for a couple of hours or curl up with a good book/glossy mag, be a mom, be a wife, have a shower, go to bed… and the cycle continues. Sometimes there might be a blip to the routine in the form of a visitor or an unexpected phone call from a long lost friend and that’s about it. Exciting stuff, huh?
I remember when I was packing my bags to move over to England seven years ago (that long??? Feels like yesterday) I was full of drive, motivation, oomph! Oh, the things I was going to do, the heights I was going to reach, the accomplishments I was going to achieve. Yeah. Right.
People say Count Your Blessings, Other People are Worse off than You, One Day, yada yada yada. I do count my blessings but, BUT- I find myself thinking - I want MORE, is this such a bad thing? I don’t mean more in financial terms, although that would be nice, I mean more in terms of achieving SOMETHING, filling up this void of unfulfilment, making my life count for something. I think the bottom line is – DOING SOMETHING FOR MYSELF. There. I’ve said it. I want to do something for myself. Not for hubby, or children, or family, or country but SOMETHING FOR MYSELF. Feels good saying that.
But here’s the tricky part: What do I REALLY want for myself?
I shall sit back and reflect upon this. I feel a lengthy list coming on.
Yikes!! Did January just happen? Where is the year running to? I cannot believe that we are already the first month of the New Year down.
Ever noticed that the older you get the quicker time seems to whiz by? As a child/teenager the time couldn’t go quick enough. I don’t know how many times my parents had to listen to my cries of ‘I’m soooooo bored’. Nowadays – in this our fast paced world of iPods, computers, microwaves, dishwashers, memory sticks, PDA’s, blackberries and blogs- I find that I just don’t seem to have the time to be bored. In fact, I just don’t seem to have the time to be anything! But on closer inspection – what exactly am I doing with my time? Shall I be brutally honest? Not much.
Sure I do what every body else does, I try to juggle the work-life balance – I sleep, wake up, go to work, come back home, cook (if I’m in the mood), veg out in front of the TV or PC for a couple of hours or curl up with a good book/glossy mag, be a mom, be a wife, have a shower, go to bed… and the cycle continues. Sometimes there might be a blip to the routine in the form of a visitor or an unexpected phone call from a long lost friend and that’s about it. Exciting stuff, huh?
I remember when I was packing my bags to move over to England seven years ago (that long??? Feels like yesterday) I was full of drive, motivation, oomph! Oh, the things I was going to do, the heights I was going to reach, the accomplishments I was going to achieve. Yeah. Right.
People say Count Your Blessings, Other People are Worse off than You, One Day, yada yada yada. I do count my blessings but, BUT- I find myself thinking - I want MORE, is this such a bad thing? I don’t mean more in financial terms, although that would be nice, I mean more in terms of achieving SOMETHING, filling up this void of unfulfilment, making my life count for something. I think the bottom line is – DOING SOMETHING FOR MYSELF. There. I’ve said it. I want to do something for myself. Not for hubby, or children, or family, or country but SOMETHING FOR MYSELF. Feels good saying that.
But here’s the tricky part: What do I REALLY want for myself?
I shall sit back and reflect upon this. I feel a lengthy list coming on.
Labels: Change, Self Discovery
posted by Pilgrimage to Self at 12:38 pm
19 Comments:
in response to this post, read my last post when you have a chance. Keep reaching, you'll get there!
"I shall sit back and reflect upon this."
H'm. More sitting back? Start doing something, anything. My two cents. ;-)
@Fred: Ouch! That was below the belt. But you're right dawggonnit!! :)
@Songreach: I'm making my way to your blog now...
PTS: what belt? :-)
Heheh... sorry, can't resist today.
Hello... I'm new to blog land and I'm loving your blog. I also love the poetry on 'The Write Words'. I wrote a poem on my blog titled "i've disappeared", have a read. I don't know if it's because Jan has ended and the year is well underway, but almost everyone I know and on the blogs I visit, is asking "who am i?" No answers from me here, just to let you know "I know how you feel"
Fred said, "Start doing something, anything".
Let's not mistake motion for direction.
Touche, laspapi. However, by age 37, if you don't have direction, why bother moving?
hmnn, i really feel you.
days into months, months into years, years into a lifetime.
time does fly!and we someday will have to give an account of how its been spent.
thanks for your comment on my blog.
Hello, referred to your blog in my most recent post. I am having one of those moments and also get tired with being told that there are those who are not as lucky as I am etc. So I set goals for 2007 and trying ever so slowly to get there. Any movement is good as long as it's not backwards.
I remember the meme about describing your dream life. That was so beautiful. I thought perhaps that's what you wanted to do and it sounds like you had already started taking steps towards actualizing it.
Sometimes we are doing more than we actually realise.
Hmmm very nice.A woman's life...we tend to live so much for others. It's really necessary sometimes to take stock and do something for ourselves.
May God guide you in your endeavours.
You are always so on point, it's scary!
Point noted, Fred. However, the Ibos have an adage-
"Whenever you rise up is your morning."
Time is relative.
PTS- with kid(s) one can sometimes get lost in their lives and it is always a struggle to do something for yourself. However the very fact that you are raising this means that in your subconscious something is stearting to germinate. Time to bring it to the fore
I recall a saying that the minute you say that you want to learn something a teacher will appear.
Ah. The need for more and not knowing what more is. Its scary that a lot of people ask this question especially people older than i am. Makes me wonder
laspapi, I know, I'm an Ibo man myself. I've always felt that saying was just an excuse to be lazy. Didn't Okonkwo use it extensively? :-)
Hey- you know what- don't beat up yourself- you've achieved a whole lot- your relationship, your kid/s (is there a word between singular and plural), this blog- YES THIS BLOG- I could go on. I know it's probably not what you want to hear now but you know what sometimes I can't help thinking that all that self-fulfilment stuff is overrated...and yes, I think there's something about January that has us all reflecting
"achieving SOMETHING, filling up this void of unfulfilment, making my life count for something. I think the bottom line is – DOING SOMETHING FOR MYSELF. "
I really enjoy your blog and find it quite enlightening but my view/experience with self fulfillment is that it is more often achieved from doing something for someone else rather than from doing something for yourself.
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