Thursday, December 15, 2005

What You Are Not (or becoming Who You Really Are)

Give yourself about an hour of quiet time to complete this exercise.

Grab a notebook. At the top of the page write, 'What I am NOT', then write out a full page (preferable two) of a list of what you are NOT. For example: I am NOT a priest. I am NOT a school teacher. I am NOT a star athlete. Define all of the things that you are NOT in as many ways as you can think of to describe what you know for sure that you are NOT.

As you create your NOT list, be as precise and specific as you possibly can be as you explore your expos�� of what you are NOT. When you know what you are not, you have the opportunity to negate those things. I am not a start athlete, as much as I would love to be, it is true and it will continue to be true until I die. No amount of exercise, training, coaching and great career breaks will ever get me to the point that I will become a star athlete. Yes, I do enjoy volleyball as a participant, walking as an exercise, the gym as a way of life, BUT I will never be a start athlete and I will not expend energy, time or money to get me prepared to ail at that endeavour. Defining what I am NOT, gives me the freedom to more thoroughly be what I AM in my world.

If you need a little more direction, break the areas of your life into areas to explore. For example, find out what you��re NOT in the areas of your health and physicality, career, relationships, spirituality, finances, interests, virtues, etc. Once you learn what you��re NOT, you can become more of what you ARE.

After you complete the exercise on 'What I am NOT' set it aside and allow your list to rest for a week. Then pull it off the shelf again and add to it and edit it for the purpose of becoming even more authentic and honest about who you ARE.

Next, slowing begin to define what you ARE. Take your time and divide your life into segments so you can cover every area of your life thoroughly and completely as you slowly, gently and lovingly describe and define what you ARE and who you have become. This part of the process may take you a little longer and its always subject to modifications and even corrections as you may suddenly discover some facet of yourself that you didn't realise was a NOT your and that revelation helps you define a new area that you ARE.

Be patient with yourself. Other people have been defining what you are all your life. Doing it for yourself is a new and exciting proposition for most people. There are times when you will be confused and even angry with what you discover. Be gentle and be persistent in keeping your focus and energy directed into what you ARE and stop feeding or supporting what you are NOT. Select one or two of your new 'ARE' areas and make them dominate in your everyday life. Examples: I am patient. I am strong. I am a good coach. I am healthy.

There is a caveat here to be aware of: Notice that the examples are statements of fact. They are NOT comparisons as in; I am more patient. I am stronger. I am a better coach. Each statement of what I am stands on its own and describes what I am right now today.

By consistently and constantly being what you REALLY ARE, you will very quickly make your life different in ways that are incredibly rewarding and fun. As you get used to the new you and learn to only put energy into what YOU ARE, you will have more time, money and prestige to use and play with in your life.

Have fun.

Credits to


Post a Comment

<< Home