Monday, July 31, 2006

Handling Compliments

Why do I find it so difficult to accept a compliment graciously? Compliments either embarrass me or I pretend I don’t hear them when they are paid or I mumble something unintelligible in reply. But more often than not, I don’t believe them or rather, I am skeptical about compliments. For some unexplained reason, I tend to feel that the person paying me the compliment is just trying to be polite (or make conversation) by saying something nice to me but inside is secretly thinking ‘Ugh’. Which is unfair on my part and I am probably 90% wrong in thinking this (or am I?) but I can’t help but feel this way.

Another thing I find myself doing in automatic response to a compliment paid to something I am wearing, is to immediately say ‘Oh, do you know I only paid so and so for this?’ like I’m trying to justify why I own the item. WHY DO I DO THIS?? Why can’t I simply say ‘Oh, thank you?’ and smile mysteriously?

What’s the secret to handling compliments graciously?


Blogger karrie said...

I totally hear you. I am just now learning how to take a compliment without downplaying it. Can you believe it's almost painful to do?

Through a lot of work on myself, I have come to the conclusion that I just have to say "thank you" and then take several, relaxed breaths. The breath is important because that's exactly when you're compelled to start downplaying yourself or the item they are complimenting. It takes practice, but it works!

ps I rather love your blog, by the way!

1:27 pm  
Blogger Pilgrimage to Self said...

Thanks for the tip Karrie and for stopping by.

1:57 pm  
Blogger Nancy and Marty said...

The best advice I have ever received about how to accept compliments is to reply, "That's nice of you to say." In this way, you are acknowledging the graciousness of the person who offered the compliment and not dwelling on the compliment itself.

8:48 pm  
Blogger Pilgrimage to Self said...

@nancy and marty: ooh, I like that one. I think I'll be trying it out the next time someone compliments me.

5:48 am  
Blogger Gbemi's Piece said...

Wow, you got great advice there. I have the same problem. I immediately become suspicious of people when they pay compliments. Now, I will be sure to thank them and acknowlege the people instead of the compliment.

5:51 am  

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